First of, thanks to everyone who check out the blog and read the interviews, looked at pictures and made sure my views went up and I was feeling good.
Second, fuck you to those who dont like it and think I'm wasting my time with 'that frank waln guy'.
Third, fuck you again to those who dont like what im doing here
and lastly, big big thank you to Frank Waln for hooking me up with an interview like that, it honestly made me feel like I was doing something awesome and important, for the both of us.
Its been awhile since I got on a website of any kind and just spoke my mind but today it seems like the time is right to get some things off my chest.
In May I hope to graduate High School, which for me is a big accomplishment considering what has happened in school and how my life has been going. This is my first major goal I see accomplishing and just the the thought 'possibly' makes me smile and want nothing more than to see it happen. Now some of you might be thinking 'High School?! Really Rob?' and Yes its is what it is but what most people dont know is this time last year, I quit going to school, I never officially dropped out but I left after school one day and told myself there was no way I was going back for anything. Ever.
Come around in August and I'm sitting in Jail and I catch a glimpse of myself in the one way window and see a reflection of a man I didnt know. He was in a orange jumpsuit, he looked mad, sad and kinda scared. He stared at me for a long time then kinda smirked and thought 'What the fuck are u doing in here kid? This is the last place you should be.' then a few moments later a thought entered his head that kinda surprised him 'You know, schools starting next week..' but it quickly left, possibly never to return.
I round out August by taking a trip to Minnesota/Wisconsin with my brother James and Uncle. We spend 6 days there but it felt like 6 months. Everyday was a revelation about my life and what I needed to fix. I had some seriously life altering moments at that place and never felt any closer to a higher power than then. I was nearly brought to tears several times thinking about how far I had fallen this year (2010) and wanted nothing more than a second chance to prove not only to my family, but to myself that I could do whatever I wanted and vowed that whatever I got into it would only be for the good of me and family. I also gave myself a new set of goals, more realistic ones that a person like me could accomplish. It was a great and refreshing trip that sparked new ideas and gave me a new outlook on life.
I came home in a fit of rage a few days later mostly due to not wanting to leave such a beautiful place. I hated everything White River was and stood for and wondered why life was taking me back to such a God forsaken place. I eventually realized its a place like this that breeds greatness like me (No ego) I saw the potential of growing above and beyond White River and its inhabitants (ego)
The next few months were spent in frustration but mostly in thought then one day I woke up and it hit me 'Rob, you have to go back to school'. The thought bothered me for a few days and I tried to get rid of it but it kept coming back. Finally, I decided I couldnt deny myself this. I went and talked to Mr. Schumacher and got everything lined up. I started at the end of November with 12 credits and a sliver of hope.
Today, I am closer than I ever was to graduating (I still have a few credits to get)
I am cutting it close but I have a good feeling its what I need to finish up. I say this cause I've never really talked to anybody about my current schooling situation and felt like I needed to, not only to show how far I've come but to see that if I give up now, whats that say about other goals and dreams I have?
I know this is the door to many great things happening, I just have to pass the test Life has set fourth in front of me and show it I got what it takes to get where I want. I may have to work 10x as hard but the reward looks to be 10x greater than someone who doesn't and I know most of the gain comes mentally and spiritually, which ive grown to love and respect even more.
On the real though, some days I feel to old for school, some days I feel like I should just go home and get a GED, other times though, I feel good about what I'm doing and hope others who have chances at doing this do. Its a good feeling.
I have to say, this roster full of kids, from the freshmen to the seniors, is the best group of people I've ever gone to school with. From lunch time football (GO RANCHERS!) to me making a few lame jokes and hearing the room come alive with laughter, you guys make school very very enjoyable for me, which hasnt happened, pry since elementary.
I know a few students read this, and maybe even some teachers. I just want you guys to know its been a hell of a time and I can def. say this is my Senior Year at White River High School, no matter what happens.
Real 'MF'ing' Talk.
Peace, Love, Harmony
Rob Gnar
